It is quite a traumatic experience to handle a sex addict spouse every day; you might start feeling that “mental love lost”, miss the understanding relationship that was once perfect and now have come to an emotional numbness. There are many therapists who help you to deal with such partners as some serious cases might even lead to extra marital affairs and separation.
Group therapies also work effectively where you might be able to relate your experience with the people having similar troubles. Compulsive sexual behaviour and sex addiction is a very common problem in couples and instead of sheltering yourself with the trauma, isolation and suffering you can read the following suggestions as to how to deal with sex addict partners –
This is difficult, but you have to learn the skill of detachment to save your soul from everyday humiliation. This does not indicate that you have to be loud and create walls of separation with your partner – just be calm, reserved and learn to heal yourself by focussing on your needs and happiness. Try to embrace the situation by accepting the truth and incline on “self care” methods.
Understand the Situation
Often when you are confronting a sex addict the tendency is to find faults in the addict; while the issue might be in you. Try to check with a therapist or someone “neutral” who will give an unbiased opinion about the situation. Don’t try to change your spouse; spend some days trying to change yourself, may be the manner of visualisation will change in the course of time.
Take Help of Support Groups
Most of the therapists recommend this method for people facing this problem. You can get enrolled to a local mental health association and make yourself feel better. This surely does not mean that you are the patient; but this will help you to vent out your thoughts, know about others and get motivated to fight the situation diligently. In fact, you can also encourage your spouse to take part in such groups for effective treatment.
Set the Limitation
People living with sex addicts usually tend to get co-dependents and start living with the fact that this is their destiny. Do not tolerate something that is intolerable. If you are married to any one of these – sex addicts, alcoholics or drugs addicts, make sure you set the boundary at the right time.
Take a Firm Decision
If you find the situation to be the last stage; then be firm and decide for a divorce. But do not threaten your partner for a divorce until you actually plan to do so. Empty threats will not improve the situation rather make the addict believe that whatever he does will not really make you leave him.