When you are just about to overcome past resentments, make your mind clear about three points – it’s going to be a process and will not happen in one day, it might get worse before you actually start feeling better, and you will need loads of willingness and an open heart and mind.
Past resentments are nothing but negative feelings that you are probably carrying on within you for years; in many the reactions of past resentments are significantly damaging and the person eventually lose the ability to interact, work efficiently, feel positive, creative or even at the least hopeful about life. The negative feeling and events keep ongoing in your mind that leads to anger, frustration and hampers you physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Many psychological studies have showed that the inability to overcome resentment is one of the major causes of disturbed relationships, family clefts, or even broken friendships. However, there are ways to overcome this destruction – life is too short to spend it in pain, anger and resentment. Thus, let go the things that did not happen and move ahead to see a better future. Here are few steps following which can give you only happiness and peace, forgetting all the past resentments and pain –
Face it and Love it
The more you try to move away and avoid the feeling, the more it will grip you and let you breathe. Instead just face the pain and think of the good times that you had spent with the person. Silent hours when you think of that person and wish all the good things for him/her as you want for yourself will help you to slowly chisel away the negative emotions. Prayer is a very powerful tool that gives you inner strength to face any emotion – use this tool for the person and see how you can lower the hatred and detesting vibes. Initially it might be awkward and meaningless but after two week’s regular practice you will be preaching about love yourself!
Think about your Motive and Expectations
The cause of your past resentment can be anything but that was not the only motive or goal in your life. Don’t let that one failure ruin all the other success possibilities. Think and rethink about the expectations you have with your life, try to chalk out a plan to execute them positively.
Don’t do anything that will involve your expectations as breaking of the same will hurt you again. Do not let anyone pull you down as you have the power wheel within you and you are the ruler, there is just no one who can pull that down.
Whenever you are having the anger and resentment pang, take a pen and paper and make a list of ten things for what you are grateful in that particular moment. Once this is done you will see yourself that there is much more to just “that” grudge. Focus your energy on the things you have and not the ones you did not get.
Stay Aware of all Consequences
Staying mentally positive is of course a good attitude; but never thinking of the negative makes you’re over-expecting, which is not good at all! When you are already suffering from past resentment and trying to overcome it, guess all the possible outcomes of your act and be ready for it. It takes practice and mindfulness to attain the peace in the soul, therefore face the practical world with all kinds of aspects so that you don’t get that blow again!
The Karma of Compassion
Look at the beings who are suffering more than you! It can be a stray animal and also the ignored and suppressed people living around you. Once you start seeing the sufferings of others, the feeling of “compassion” develops and you will automatically find your resentment a “little” thing in comparison. The karma you do is what you will get – this is the nude truth that is especially followed in Buddhism. Make yourself belief that a simple and affirmative life can help you grow from within.
The world is all about the dynamic relationships and nothing in the past can hurt you so much that you have to stop living! Let go of the past anger, grievances, grudges and resentments to evolve as a new person with the uniqueness to conquer your heart and mind simultaneously!